The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
