You're so nebulous sometimes
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
