I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
