I wannas sexs uuuuu
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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