if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
