He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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