Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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