Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
