he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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