don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
