i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize