I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
