I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It was confusing and full of hummus
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
