I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
