So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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