You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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