last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
