Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
