It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
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Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
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So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize