well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
