Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
