if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
