I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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