i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
