Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
