My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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