please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
