I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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