I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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