Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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