i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
