therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
