I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
