i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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