so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
