so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
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We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
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All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.