WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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