He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dicks are not precious.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
