Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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