i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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