Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
