we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
