he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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