ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
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