Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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