u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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