I got chris browned last night
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
