theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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