Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
