he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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