somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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