I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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