I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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