Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
