Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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