so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
