i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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