Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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