I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
