My nipple is on Facebook.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
