I hate your face
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
