I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
