I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
