Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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