Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
