in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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