I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
